Rodaan Al Galidi on Labour Force/Humans

You are appointed EU President. What’s action point No.1?
Everyone gets their money back.
Europe will be an empty and cold continent in 90 years. It will be an unhealthy place as a result of its unhealthy air. Everything in the ground will have run out and the Europeans will have long hoisted their sails and left. Just as with the Indians, we will write about them very beautifully and say that they wrote nice poems and novels, brought the greatest changes to the world, and created the best democracies and human rights. In each country, the immigrants will build a museum for the last two Europeans. For example, in Groningen there will be a museum with two Hollanders. Sadly, they won’t be able to hear about how great they used to be, and how after the 20th century they had their worst period ever – and how before that, they were the greatest captains of the ship of life.

Europe 2100: draw a mental map. Where are the boundaries?
South Europe is always the European economy’s biggest problem. But always the best solution when it comes to culture. Every country that stays above 10 degrees in the winter simply has a bad economy. This will never change. In the future, the EU will be split into north and south, because southerners keep their money at home along with their children while northerners keep their children in day-care and their money in the bank. That’s why the south is both the EU’s headache and its diarrhoea.  Northerners have proven perfect for a union as they split up into two types: bureaucrats and citizens. The border will be defined over the long term between where the money flows and where it stagnates.

Has integration in Europe failed? Or will the problems pass like indigestion?
Integration in Europe has not failed. The immigrants themselves have failed. They did not understand Europe correctly – not before they arrived, nor after. From the failures of the immigrants themselves, Europe has grown tired of immigrants who jump on their shoulders with their mountains, deserts and hills. It’s just too heavy. So Europe has pulled back because her shoulders hurt from all those immigrants who are here for 50 years and never bothered to learn Europe’s language, understand its thoughts or admire its beautiful face. I’m talking about those who have been living in Amsterdam for the last 50 years and still don’t know the difference between Van Gogh and a nice young cheese.

What form of community inspires you and why? What does your ideal society look like?
I discovered my ideal society in a kebab shop in The Hague. There I saw all these Iraqis who would normally never be able to live together or even sit in same waiting room of a barber, dentist or doctor. But here they came together over a kebab to sit and eat. Christians, Kurds, Sunnites, Shiites, Arabs… I saw all the Iraqis there. And so I discovered that the meeting point for humanity is not the head but the stomach.  And it’s a very tasty meeting point.

My ideal society is formed in such a way that people can enjoy what the earth gives, not what their thoughts take away. To be clear: just give me a shoarma joint after a nice night out in a bar with friends. It’s more bonding than any European Parliament or National Assembly can ever be.